


The Bonds That Shape Us

by Creativity4change



Category: Book of the Ancestor Series - Mark Lawrence
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Awkwardness, F/F, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Guilt, Post Bound short story, Slow Burn, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2020-10-11 03:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20539607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creativity4change/pseuds/Creativity4change
Summary: Her bond with Sister Kettle causes Nona to witness something she really shouldn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are some of my all time favourite characters and I just wanted to spend some more time with them and explore their relationships a bit more. Nona/Ara is absolutely end game but takes the back seat for at least the first 3 chapters. I mean, with the pace those two were moving at in the books, I just couldn't do it any other way. Oh and this has not been beta read so I apologize for any possible mistakes, I really wrote this mainly for myself.

Nona had learned a lot from sister Kettle over her years at Sweet Mercy. She was one of the first people to have been nice to her after a miserable childhood. She thought her how to read, how to survive and what it meant to look after those you cared about. Their bond was formed long before Nona had accidentally threaded their souls together.  
Even though she trusted the in the nun's skills completely and regularly checked on her safety via their bond, Nona always felt relieved when Kettle returned to Sweet Mercy. Her missions were as dangerous as they get and even for the best of the greys there was never any guarantee of return. Nona lost a lot in her short life and she was determined to protect her friends with all she had.

Today, upon Kettle's return, they had only exchanged the briefest of greetings before Kettle had to run and report to the abbess, but it was enough for the relief to set in so she could finally relax. She never realized it until after, but when Kettle was out in the field, a part of her mind was always looking out for her, always prepared and searching for any sign of trouble. It was exhausting and combined with all the other duties of the day it left her completely drained. Now, as the day came to a close, she was lying in her narrow bed in the mystic dormitory. Her friends were crowded around Ara, on the bed next to her own, and she tuned into their relaxed conversation. 

'You did really well in blade today Ara' Jula said, 'you totally kicked Nona's ass' she laughed.  
Ara glanced Nona's way with a proud, slightly smug grin 'Guess I did huh?' she raised her eyebrow.  
Nona tiredly smiled back 'Well did you have to kick it so hard? I'm going to have bruises for days' she joined in the laughter.  
Ara and herself were pretty evenly matched in combat and that made her Nona's favourite sparring partner. She didn't feel the need to hold back like she did with her other friends and she wasn't constantly scrambling for purchase like when trying to take on Zole. However, today her constant vigil for Kettle had taken its toll and her performance was slightly subpar. Ara noticed, but did not go easy on her and Nona both loved and hated her for it. 

'Sorry'. Ara's face actually looked apologetic  
'Are you alright?' she asked, with obvious concern in her voice.  
The blonde seemed to have never even considered she could actually hurt her friend, and the thought unsettled her.  
'I'm fine' Nona reassured her. 'I just feel a little off today, should be ok after some rest' she added. 

'Well, better get some sleep then, we have that path test bright and early tomorrow' Ara sighed, feeling none too thrilled about it herself, even though path never gave her any trouble.  
'Ugh, don't remind me' Nona groaned.  
'You'll do fine, you always do' Ara smiled reassuringly.  
'Thanks.' Nona returned the smile 'Hey, if there's a written portion, can I copy off of you?'  
The girls just laughed while Nona settled deeper into her cowers. 

She drifted off, comforted by the familiar voices, and was just about to fall asleep when she was suddenly yanked out of her body and found herself staring trough eyes that were foreign, but not unfamiliar. 

She was lounging on a bed in what seemed to be sister Apple's room in the caves, sipping on a glass of wine. She'd actually never been there herself, of course, but she recognized it from a few of Kettle's memories. Another clue was that she was currently watching her friend's lover change from her habit into a nightgown. Her unintentional host was still unaware of her presence and Nona, who just wanted to sleep, found no way to get her attention. 

Then the redhead's habit came off and she found herself distracted. She'd always been attracted to her snarky teacher and when she was younger she'd feel pangs of jealousy whenever she saw the pair show affection towards one another. Jealousy and something else. 

Habits were modest but form fitting enough to get a pretty good idea of one's body underneath it, but since the nuns bathed apart from the novices she'd never actually seen Apple undressed before. The poisoner looked stunning with nothing to obscure her beauty, her red hair loose in shiny curls around her shoulders. Unlike Nona and Kettle, who were all hard edges with little give, Apple was softer and curvier, more reminiscent of Ara's shapely form. Her gaze lingered on the freckly pale skin as it got covered up by a silky black nightgown. 

Nona felt immensely guilty trespassing on such a private moment, but she also couldn't leave. She didn't entirely understand yet how their bond worked, and she often found herself in Kettle's head without her knowledge or any means of communicating her presence. It usually happened during exciting moments, when the grey sister was in mortal danger and the adrenaline weakened her mental defences. It seemed arousal had a similar effect.  
Kettle took another sip of the wine, and Nona, for the first time in her life, found herself enjoying the rich tangy taste trough the nun's accustomed senses. Then her attention was pulled back towards the other woman, as she felt the bed dip beside her. 

'More wine?' Apple asked, taking a sip from her own glass before setting it back on the nightstand. Nona felt her head move as Kettle shook it no.  
'I really missed you, you know that?' Kettle answered instead, leaning in to brush a strand of red hair from the poisoner's face.  
'I missed you too' Apple smiled, leaning into the touch. Nona could smell her now, the fresh scent of the fruit that was her moniker. It was an aroma that, in the classroom, would equal parts frighten and arouse her. Usually being so close to the Poisoner meant agony would surely follow. The last time Nona had inhaled this scent she spent the rest of the day vomiting in the necessary. Even in this context the girl felt a rush of anxiety being so close to the teacher she had once had a crush on. A crush which, she now realized, wasn't quite as forgotten as she'd previously believed. 

Kettle slowly closed the distance and met her lovers’ soft lips. Next thing Nona knew her hands were buried in soft red hair and she was kissing the beautiful poisoner. 

Her first thought was that this was nothing like her kiss with Ara. Her first kiss had been an ethereal experience, and not only because of the bond that was formed. It was Ara. The thrill of being so close to her, touching her. Forgetting anything else in the world existed, only them, only that moment. She couldn't tell where she ended and Ara began, couldn't even tell which one of the two she was at that moment. She gave everything she was into that kiss and emerged a different person. She made Ara a part of her forever, and neither of them seemed to realize yet exactly what the repercussions could be. Well Nona was starting to find out. 

If that kiss made her lose herself, this one never really included her at all. She felt at once both insignificant, and uncomfortably aware of her presence. Every sensation this foreign body provided seemed unnaturally intense and her senses were completely overwhelmed by her partner. Mistress shade might have smelled of apples but she definitely didn't taste of them. As Kettles tongue slid past her full lips, she tasted the rich aroma of red wine. Apple's tongue greeted the visitor with practiced ease, knowing exactly what to do to provoke the desired reaction. This was nothing like the inexperienced but enthusiastic first kiss of two novices, it was union of two mouths which knew each other well. Before Nona had time to adjust to any of it, the kiss was over and she was staring into the green eyes of mistress shade. 

She was entirely unprepared for what she saw there.  
Apple was looking at her like she was the focus moon; the only thing standing between her and certain death, bringing warmth to her life and keeping the ice away from her heart. It was a look Nona had never been on the receiving end of before. To have someone look at her like that, and yet not actually see her, broke something inside her that she had never even noticed was there. She suddenly felt very alone. 

A new kiss, intense as it was, almost brought relief. She could hide in the physical sensations of what was happening and try to ignore the true weight of it. A weight she wasn't yet able to process. She became aware of Apples hands on the other nun's body, her body. Still just a light touch, but one that was setting her skin aflame. It seemed Kettle felt the heat too, as next thing the novice knew she was straddling the other woman while pulling off her own habit. She felt hands immediately return to her torso as her head leaned down to kiss Apple's neck, drawing out a moan from the other woman when she sucked on the pulse point. 

'If you leave marks on me we'll be getting dirty looks from Wheel at breakfast again' the poisoner laughed, but her voice had taken on a breathy quality.  
'We'll be getting them anyway, might as well give her something to look at' Kettle grinned and returned to the job at hand, moving lower to place a kiss on the collarbone, before leaving another mark there.  
Nona could feel she was getting impatient, a desire rising in her she had no idea how to satiate. But luckily for her, she didn't really have to do anything. 

Kettle lifted herself up just enough to pull Apple's nightgown over her head, leaving them both bare to the night air. She took a second to admire the view again, then leaned down to suck a nipple into her mouth. Apple arched off the bed in attempt to get more contact but Kettle teasingly withdrew. Before her lover had a chance to complain, she pressed their bodies together while returning for another kiss. The skin on skin contact itself was incredible and Nona found herself craving more and more of it. She wanted to get as close as possible, to meld together with the stunning redhead. 

She didn't even realize Apple had flipped them around until the kiss ended and she was surrounded by a curtain of red hair. The face above her smiled with perfect confidence before vanishing out of her sight. When lips landed on her neck Nona thought she was going to melt into the mattress. As fun as it was to kiss the other woman this way, she had never imagined it would feel this nice. It seemed Kettle agreed, as she let out a soft moan of arousal. More such sounds escaped when a soft hand found her breast and skilfully massaged it.

Suddenly the stimulation stopped and Apple's smirking face reappeared in her line of sight: 'You're very eager tonight, seems like you really have missed me' she said.  
'Yes well' the younger nun panted, 'I seem to recall you being the one dragging me down here only a few hours after my return' another pant followed by a gasp as Apple's mouth returned to her neck and softly bit on the sensitive skin it found there. It was both slightly painful and immensely pleasurable.  
''You barely managed to wait for me to bathe after my report to the abbess'' The younger nun managed to continue. The redhead paused her efforts for a moment and offered a wide smile, flashing her perfect teeth behind those red lips.  
''I barely restrained myself while you were reporting to the abbes'' she leaned down for a quick kiss,''waiting for you to finish your bath was just pure torture. I had half a mind to just go in and have you then and there, the others be damned'' Apple returned to her neck.  
''Well, I suppose we could teach them a thing or two'' Kettle giggled ''Ancestor knows some of them are pent up enough that they would benefit from it. Aaahhh''. The last sound was the result of Apple's mouth dipping lower to place her lips upon a nipple and suck it into its warmth. Nona thought she would just float away from the sensations. She knew her breasts felt sort of nice to touch and were more sensitive than most of her body, but she never thought they could feel like that. However, it was all about to be eclipsed as the Mistress Shade slid her hand down her stomach and between her thighs.  
''Ancestor you're wet!'' she exclaimed ''Does the thought of being watched turn you on?'' Leaning closer she whispered the next part into the younger nun's ear ''They already know you're mine, but would you like me to state my claim in front of an audience?''. Kettle replied by pulling her into a heated kiss, before pulling back and staring deep into those green orbs.  
''The only person I want looking at me is you. Your eyes are the only ones that matter.''  
Again, Nona felt a twinge of guilt. If only Kettle knew she wasn't only being watched, but that she was unwittingly sharing the most intimate parts of herself with her young protegee, would she ever be able to look at Nona the same way again? And she didn't even want to think about meeting either of the women face to face tomorrow.  
Luckily Nona was quickly getting to a place beyond all thoughts. Though she had tried touching herself in the past, she was still fairly clueless in the exact mechanics of the act. Her clumsy fingers didn't even come close to Apple's skilled touch, invoking pleasures Nona couldn't even imagine before. She was now distinctly aware that this act had an endgame and that she, along with her host, was approaching it fast.  
'Stop teasing and fuck me already' Nona felt her mouth speak the foreign words. Teasing? She thought, confused for a moment, before slender fingers slipped inside her and she realized she was focusing on the wrong part of that sentence.  
'How's that?' asked the owner of those incredible fingers.  
All Kettle seemed to manage in response was a moan, but Nona couldn't blame her. Her body was on fire and her mind had long gave up any attempt at coherent thoughts. She found herself wondering why people didn't do this all the time. 

Then, the poisoner's fingers massaged some hidden spot inside her and even that thought melted away, leaving only pure ecstasy. She was right back on that edge and it seemed closer than ever.  
As Apple's thumb brushed across her clit she hurtled over it with astounding velocity. It was almost like falling off of the and path back into her own body, barely able to recognize it as it hummed with energy. She almost expected to be glowing as she opened her eyes.  
However, all she could see were the penetrating eyes of Mistress Shade, leaning slightly away to look at the face of her lover and noticing for the first time that something was off. The redheads’ confusion intensified as Kettle opened her mouth: 'Nona?!'. 

The shock of being discovered propelled Nona out of her friends head and she awoke with a start back in her bed in the dormitory. After that experience her own body felt strange to her, she could still feel the ghost of touches she had never received, and her underwear felt uncomfortably damp. As she became aware of her surroundings, she found herself staring straight into the shining eyes of Arabella Jotsis, watching her with concern from the next bed over, close enough to touch if she reached out her hand. 

'Nona, are you alright?' Ara whispered, trying not to wake their friends.  
Ancestor help me, Nona thought, embarrassed to be caught red handed. 'Did I wake you?' she whispered back instead, 'Was I... Talking in my sleep or something?' She asked, beyond mortified. Looking around it seemed like the others were still asleep, but appearances could be deceiving and having one friend witness this was bad enough.  
'No, you're fine' Ara reassured her with a bemused tone 'It was the bond that did it. I think some of what you were feeling...' she paused searching for words '...spilled over' she finished, averting her eyes.  
Great. Nona thought. Just great. Now not only will she have to explain something she didn't even understand to her mentor, who probably hated her after what just happened, she also apparently managed to transmit her crime to her gorgeous friend. Whom, Nona noted with her thoughts still heated, had never looked more appealing as she was at that moment, her face flushed and her golden hair tousled from sleep.  
'I'm sorry' she managed to string out. 'I don't understand how it works. I can't control it'.   
Ara looked back at her and smiled reassuringly 'I know' she said. 'Must've been a good dream, huh?' She giggled softly.  
'Dream, yes...' Nona chuckled nervously before averting her eyes again. It seemed that, if her friend knew more than she was letting on, she would leave it alone for now.  
'Well, we should both try to get some more sleep, goodnight Nona' Ara rolled over in her bed, leaving Nona alone with her thoughts.  
'Goodnight Ara' she whispered back, but she knew sleep would be hard to come by that night. 

________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
‘Nona?! Did you just call me Nona?’’ Apple was completely bewildered with what had just transpired,  
‘I mean I know you two have that weird bond thing but for fucks sake Kettle that’s a kid. I don’t know if I should be jealous or just concerned’ She said.  
‘It's really not like that, it's the bond that's the problem’ replied the younger nun ‘Nona and I haven’t entirely figured out how to limit what gets shared over it. She gets pulled into my head sometimes without me even realizing it.’ 

Apple narrowed her eyes ‘So what you’re trying to say is, I wasn’t only making love to you, but also somehow Nona?’ Kettle grimaced signalling both agreement and her immense discomfort with the idea. When she met her lover's eyes again she could almost feel the anger radiating from the other nun.  
'Please don't kill her' She pleaded, while Apple disentangled herself from their embrace and set back on the bed, putting some distance between them.  
She tried to explain further 'I don't think she did it on purpose, I've been pulled into her head before without any control or a way to communicate' the redhead was pulling on her nightshirt, avoiding her gaze.

'it's not her fault, it's really just an awkward situation for everyone' she tried again. This time Apple finally looked back at her. 'Awkward situation?' She gasped incredulously. Although Apple was quick to anger, Kettle couldn't recall the last time she had seen her lover this furious.  
'For fucks sake Kettle, I'm the girl's teacher! I know you consider yourself her friend and that's your business, but what just happened was completely inappropriate' She got up from the bed and started pacing around the room.  
'How in the world am I supposed to continue teaching her now?' She looked back towards Kettle, clearly expecting a response. 

'I guess we'll have to talk to her tomorrow' Kettle sighed, not looking forward to it in the least.  
Apple just laughed bitterly: 'Oh, I'm not talking to her, you are. You realize this is your fault right?' Suddenly her anger took on a different context.  
'I really don't see how' Kettle replied defensively 'I've never been part of a quantal bond before, I don't know how it works'.  
'Yes, but there are plenty of people here who do know, and you never asked for advice. Don't tell me it never crossed your mind something like this could happen? It was your carelessness which compromised us both!' Kettle realized for the first time how frightening her lover could be when her anger was directed at you. 

'I'm sorry, but I really hadn't. Until now it only happened in situations where danger was involved' She felt her own anger rise 'You really think I would let this happen intentionally? This is my body we're talking about!'  
Apple stopped pacing and turned back towards the younger nun, anger briefly giving way to concern, but she remained adamant.  
'I believe you. But it's still on you to fix this' She took a step closer 'You'll take the girl and go to Pan. She'll teach you how to put up proper defences. Don't come back until you master them' She turned away again, clearly dismissing her.  
'You can't be serious?' Kettle said bewildered, Apple had never, ever thrown her out before.  
'Just leave' was the only response she got.  
She put on her habit, looking towards Apple a few times while doing it, checking if she'll change her mind. She was ignored the entire time. Resigned to her fate, Kettle made her way out of the caves and back into her own narrow cell.


	2. The reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nona faces Kettle and Apple, following the events of the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's been a year and I never thought I'd actually post the rest of this, since it's the first of my writing I've ever shared and the thought of others reading it makes me feel weirdly exposed haha. But I just remembered I actually have almost the entire thing written and I did immensly enjoy writing it, so I figured I might as well. So yeah, if anyone is actually still reading this, enjoy!
> 
> PS. this chapter doesn't have any smut, just awkward conversations that were really fun to write

The next morning Nona was in the middle of gulping down her breakfast in the cafeteria when she noticed Kettle enter the hall and start heading towards her. She cursed under her breath as her hopes of escaping before either of the nuns made an appearance were shattered.   
Quickly deciding on plan B, she tried to focus on her food and just pray that the nun doesn't notice her.   
No such luck.   
'Novice Nona' She heard the familiar voice above her. She reluctantly raised her head, but soon realized the other hunska wasn't quite trying to meet her gaze either.  
'Hurry up and finish your breakfast, then meet me outside. We need to talk' and with that Kettle turned away and walked straight out of the room again. Her friends all looked at her curiously. 

'Any clue what this is about?' asked Ruli.   
'She probably just wants to discuss her latest mission with me' Nona replied, trying to seem casual about the whole thing. The others looked satisfied with the explanation. Given Nona's involvement in the political happenings, as well as her connection to the grey sister, it was not uncommon for her to be included in the important discussions. However she couldn't help but notice Ara still had a rather thoughtful look on her face. Either she did know more than she let on, or she really was worried about that path test. 

Nona couldn't care less at that point, if she could survive what waited in front of those doors, she could get trough anything. She'd almost rather face Yisht again in those black tunnels than face her friend after what had happened. But she couldn't keep putting it off forever. Unfortunately she had always been a fast eater, and staying after her plate was empty would've seemed suspicious. Oh well, at least she'd die on a full stomach. 

She headed out and almost bumped into the grey sister, who's shocked expression betrayed her to be no less anxious about the whole thing than the novice.   
'Follow me' Kettle said, and started heading in the direction of path tower.   
As they were walking Nona gathered up the courage to speak  
'I'm really sorry' she finally said 'I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!'   
Kettle stopped and turned towards her, still not quite meeting her eyes.  
'I know' she replied 'I'm not mad at you. This was my fault and I'm going to try to fix that now.' 

She turned to start walking again, but Nona was suddenly in front of her, having used her hunska swiftness.   
'Wait!' She exclaimed 'What do you mean your fault? I'm the one who formed the bond, not knowing how it worked and I'm the one who intruded on your privacy. You couldn't have known, I'm sure you didn't, so this is all my fault!' She delivered the speech looking at the ground, tears in her eyes. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, to finally meet the eyes of her friend. She realized they contained as much shame and guilt as her own.   
'No' the nun spoke, 'I mean, I didn't know, that much is true. Had I known, none of that would've happened' she glanced away again but forced her eyes back to the novice 'However, I should've considered the possibility of it happening. Ours is not the first quantal bond ever formed, Holy witches have been forming them for centuries, they build up defences exactly to prevent such privacy violations. I just always considered my experiences with shadow bonding would be defence enough. Obviously I was wrong' she grimaced. 

'So you're really not mad at me?' asked Nona incredulously. 

'Of course not. I know you too well to think you'd ever do that on purpose' the nun smiled at her, but then her expression darkened again 'Appy is furious though. I spent a good portion of the night feeling like I was about to die. I think she actually poisoned me. She's never done that before'. 

If Kettle didn't look so stricken Nona would've laughed. Mistress shade hardly ever let a lesson go by without poisoning at least one student and Nona was subject to it on an almost weekly basis. The fact Kettle managed to avoid it for so long would seem almost impossible, if Nona hadn't seen that look in the poisoners eyes. As memories started to flood back she shook her head and returned her gaze to the floor. 

'Should I be concerned?' she asked instead, realizing how valid the question was only after she poised it.   
'Most of her anger seems directed at me, but I'd still try to steer clear of her if I were you, It's been years since I've seen her this mad. There might be no survivors at all' Kettle answered almost cheerfully.   
Nona was momentarily happy she didn't have shade class that day, but realized that only meant she'd have to face her ruthless teacher tomorrow. 

'So where are we going?' she could finally wonder, now that more important concerns have been sated. 

'To see sister Pan, she'll teach us how to prevent anything like this happening in the future' Kettle explained.   
'But Nona' she gave her a worried glance 'I don't think we should tell her exactly what happened, just telling her we need help building proper defences should be enough'. Nona nodded enthusiastically, unable to agree more. Discussing last night with her ancient teacher was just about the last thing she wanted. The only person she'd want to discuss this with less would be Wheel, and maybe Apple herself. 

They had reached the east door to path tower and Nona was just preparing to push them open when Kettle gently pulled her to the side.   
'Wait, just one more thing' she started 'I really don't want things to be awkward between us but they likely will be for a while. This is a pretty bad situation for all of us. I mean you're still so young, and everything is new to you...' she trailed off 'what I'm trying to say is you probably don't have a lot of experience with love and intimacy' Nona blushed looking away. Kettle noticed and tried to backtrack a little 'Which is perfectly normal at your age. I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't get too hung up on what you witnessed. Try to forget it as much as you can, replace it with your own experiences when you feel ready. It should've been your choice when you learned about these things and with whom, and it still is, what happened does not change that. Is any of that making sense to you?' 

Nona nodded, somewhat unconvincingly, but Kettle felt she had done all she could at the moment. 

'Well if it ever does, and you want to talk to someone, my door is always open' She smiled.   
The novice processed that and a big grin spread across her face 'Unless it's actually closed, then you're probably busy with Apple and I should maybe just leave right?' she burst out into laughter and Kettle tried to shake her head in dismay, but couldn't suppress a beath of laughter from escaping.

'Ha ha, very funny' she nudged the door open and started making her way into the tower, but Nona kept going  
'Also, what makes you think that my choice wouldn't have been sister Apple anyway? I mean, I gotta say she's pretty spectacular' she laughed.  
'Ok, now you're just pushing it. Careful, or I'll start to think you did actually do it on purpose and just let Appy kill you' but she said that with amusement in her voice and a huge grin on her face, so it was a little difficult to take her seriously in that moment. After all, Apple was indeed pretty spectacular and she was on her way to getting back in her good graces. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

A few weeks have passed and things have pretty much returned to normal. Nona and Kettle have learned how to establish proper defences and how to only grant access into their heads when necessary. Kettle had returned to Apple, who had embraced her with open arms. Not very surprising considering their only union in weeks proved unsatisfying for her, curtesy of Nona. There was however still one thing amiss and it was bothering Nona more and more each passing week. Since that faithful day, she still could not get trough a shade class without being poisoned. 

In fact on most days, she barely managed to enter the classroom unharmed.   
At first she had expected it, welcomed it even, as it meant she wouldn't have to face her furious teacher, but as weeks went by and the memory and mortification of the event faded a bit, she was starting to get very annoyed.

Ruli claimed it was an unprecedented case of poisonings in the history of Sweet Mercy and rumours have started going around about what Nona could possibly have done to run afoul of the poisoner that badly. They were all way of base of course and Nona had never confirmed or denied any of them. What she did find interesting was that Ara never engaged in the conversations, even when one of the others looked expectantly at her for her opinion. Whenever she was put on the spot she just shrugged and said she couldn't think of any reason Nona would be targeted and that the Poisoner was just easy to piss off. She certainly had a point there.   
_____________________________________________________

'Sister Kettle, could I please talk to you for a second?' Nona caught the nun right after her bath, making sure she would be happy and relaxed, with plenty of time on her hands.   
'Of course novice Nona, what's on your mind?' Kettle smiled at her.   
'Well, it's actually sort of a request... See, I really need to talk to sister Apple' she watched the smile slowly drop as she said those words.   
'What would that be about? Maybe I could give her a message...' Kettle asked, seemingly with best intentions, but obviously trying to avoid fulfilling the request.   
'You know full well what about' Nona was too determined to be rid of that easily 'I keep getting poisoned every shade class Kettle, I'm falling behind! She needs to accept that what happened was not my fault and just leave me alone' She added for good measure.   
Kettle looked defeated 'Fine. But why do you need my help? You know where she is'.   
'Don't you think I've tried?' Nona retorted 'Please, I've tried everything. It's been over a month and she still hasn't stopped. I just need you to set up a meeting and make sure she doesn't poison me before I even get to open my mouth' she added.

'Ok, fine, we'll get it over with tomorrow' Kettle reluctantly agreed to the request, 'Shade classroom, at bray. It's when she mixes her poisons for the day, so she's certain to be in a good mood'   
Nona wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of meeting a fully armed poisoner on her own turf either, but it seemed like the best chance she had if she ever wanted to graduate on to Holly class. 

Next morning sister Apple was indeed in her classroom, mixing up the contents of some bottles, with a very anxious looking Kettle at her side.   
'I mean its nice of you too keep me company' the redhead was saying 'but it's obvious you're really distracted. If there's somewhere else you need to be...' she drifted off as she noticed Nona's presence at the door 'What is she doing here?' she asked her lover, still refusing to talk to Nona directly. 

'Please Appy, just hear her out, I promised her you would' Kettle pleaded. For one of the deadliest assassins in the realm she could seem pretty spineless where Apple was concerned, but Nona couldn't blame her. After all, there was no reasoning with an angry Mistress shade. Apple gave the younger nun a look that clearly said 'I'll deal with you later', before turning back to her bottles.   
'Speak then' she said. 

Nona took a deep breath  
'Look, I'm sorry about what happened but it wasn't my fault and you have to stop poisoning me! I get that you don't like me, but I actually like shade class and I'm falling behind. I get you needed to punish me or whatever, but its been weeks and enough is enough! You can't keep poisoning me forever in order to avoid me!' as the words she just spoke sank in she slowly grew mortified. This was way off script. But as Apple slowly turned around and faced her at last, she saw she had struck a cord. 

'Why ever would you think I don't like you Nona?' She gave her a grin as venomous as her concoctions 'Have I been anything but pleasant to you in the past? Pleasing even?' she added as her eyes finally made contact with Nona's fully black pits. The innuendo, along with the eye contact she hadn't received for months brought her right back to that night and set her entire body aflame. She could feel a blush burning on her cheeks but was unable to break the eye contact.   
'I wasn't poisoning you to punish you, I did it to teach you a lesson' Apple said. 

That revelation brought the novice back to life 'Oh, and what lesson could that be?' she asked with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

'That no matter what impression you might have gotten, you're not special to me Nona Grey and you never will be. Only she is.' she pointed back at Kettle who looked like she wanted the ground of the cave to just open up and swallow her. 'I am you teacher and that is all, is that clear?'. 

Nona was shocked that her confused feelings have been that transparent, but not too shocked to think up a retort.  
Before she could change her mind her mouth was open and she was talking back to the Poisoner, 'Oh you've thought me plenty alright' she smirked with confidence she did not feel.   
It was Apple's turn to be shocked speechless, her mouth actually gaped open at the audacity and her face flushed in either anger or embarrassment, Nona couldn't tell. Kettle couldn't stop a shocked laugh from escaping.  
That sound helped Apple recover her words ' Oh you think this is funny, do you?' she rounded on her lover 'Do either of you realize what the consequences could be if this got out?' she glanced back at Nona 'relationships between novices are acceptable, between nuns, they are tolerated, but a nun and a novice? It's unheard of' 

Nona looked confused, nothing inappropriate actually happened, did it?

Apple went on 'If word of this got out, if anyone misinterpreted what happened or got any ideas, it could mean both of our heads' she gestured at Kettle, 'I don't know if you've noticed but there are a few people here who disapprove of our relationship and who would jump at the chance to shut it down. This could ruin us all' She finished and for a few moments they all just stood there in silence. 

'Why didn't you say something sooner?' Kettle asked.   
'Because I figured neither of you would be stupid enough to actually mention it to anyone. You didn't, did you?' She looked at Nona.   
'Of course not!' Nona said offended at the suggestion.   
'We all have enemies and they're always watching. A slip up, a wrong look... It's a slippery slope. You've witnessed first hand how far a baseless accusation can go' Apple paced the room, no longer able to stand still. Nona turned to Kettle and they exchanged a guilty look. 

Apple reached the end of the room and turned back towards them 'You were right' she said to Nona, 'I have been avoiding you'. 

Nona, who up to this point stayed mostly silent, felt it was her turn to speak,  
'Look', she said 'nothing actually happened. We should probably all just pretend it was a dream or something' she shrugged. 

Apple's expression turned to relief 'You make a good point Nona Grey, maybe I did manage to teach you a few things' she smiled. 

'So you'll stop poisoning me every lesson?' Nona asked hopefully.

'I will' Apple nodded, 'just don't expect any special treatment. All my students are the same to me'.   
That provoked another laugh from Kettle and Apple narrowed her eyes at her lover, challenging her to say something.   
'All clear?' she addressed the novice. Nona just nodded, a smile on her face.  
'Ok, then you're dismissed. See you in class, novice Nona' and with that she turned back to her poisons as Nona left the room, feeling hopeful about her classes again after a long time.


	3. Regol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat desperate Nona decides to seek help from an old flame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this one mainly explores Nona/Regol but also lays important foundation for Nona/Ara so don't worry, they are still endgame.   
PS: As this is so far my only fanfic I've ever posted (I mostly write original works I never finish and never show anyone) I still don't entirely understand how AO3 works so apologies to everyone who commented, but I literally just saw all of your comments today. Posting my work still makes me kinda nervous (which I know is dumb since none of you know me) so I'm almost scared to check on it once its posted haha. But I do really appreciate all of your feedback and I'm so happy a lot of you seem to be enjoying this fic. These characters are just too fun to play around with and the soul bond is such a handy concept for creating deeply awkward situations haha. So if you enjoy those no worries, there is definitely more coming ;).

Months have passed and Nona successfully graduated to Holly class, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fulfil her promise. She couldn't forget that night in the caves.

She'd dream about it, waking up all hot and bothered, unable to fall back asleep. Her mind would drift of in shade class listening to sister Apple's voice only to be brought back to reality by some sharp words regarding her incompetence, when the object of her daydreams noticed she wasn't paying attention.

She never brought up the subject again with either Apple or Kettle and as far as they were concerned the whole thing was dead and buried. But then again they had each other, and Nona had no one.

  


She decided something had to be done, and she knew the perfect person to help her out.

  


___________________________________________________________________________________

  


'You want me to do what?' Regol asked, convinced that he'd misheard her request somehow.

'I want you to take me to bed' Nona repeated, flushed but determined, 'I like you, I've always liked you. What's the point in dancing around' she shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

The boy just stood there, speechless, dark eyes bulging. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.

'You don't have to if you don't want to' she sighed, and turned to leave. She didn't even make it one step.

  


'Wait!' Regol finally found his voice, 'OK, come with me'. Gently he took her hand and lead her down the halls of the Caltess towards the fighters quarters. He stopped before a nondescript door to quickly unlock it and a few seconds later she was standing in his room. It looked exactly like she remembered all the rooms being from her time here, maybe a little smaller, but still more spacious than the cells in the nun's cloister. It only contained a bed, a dresser and a mirror, which, of course Regol would have one, she thought to herself. With nothing to distract her gaze she forced her eyes back on the boy himself, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, observing her.

  


'It's not much I know' he said, 'but it's home, I guess'.

'No, it's nice', she smiled at him.

'Are you really sure about this?' he asked, meeting her eyes for the first time since her bold request. She took in his attractive face, his warm, honest eyes.

'I am', she replied 'I can't get you out of my head', a warm smile spread across his face as she said that.

'Well that much is mutual' he laughed.

  


She realized how close they were standing and how little it would take to touch him. She reached out and brushed a stray strand of black hair from his face, letting her hand travel further into his soft locks and unconsciously moving closer and closer to his face. She breathed in his masculine scent, sweat from the fighting mixed with a sharp exotic soap, no doubt a gift from one of his patrons. The third component to his scent was unidentifiable, she assumed it was just Regol. She was reminded of the other times she had been this close to him, when she was fighting him in the ring. But even clearer was the memory of the time, when she wasn't really herself at all, taking him in through her friend's senses. But no, she wouldn't think of Ara now.

  


She didn't know who ended up finally closing the gap, but suddenly their lips met and it was immediately so much better than kissing mi through Ara. There was no awkwardness, no Kettle watching from the sides, and no needle to worry about scratching yourself on. Only soft lips and curious tongues.

  


Her other hand joined the first, tangled in his thick black hair, while his were sending shivers down her arms and back. His gentle caresses were setting her body aflame and her mind was starting to fog over. He slowly manoeuvred them a few steps backwards.

Next thing she knew the back of her knees hit the bed and she let herself be lowered down onto it, Regol on top of her. She broke their kiss to try and tug off his shirt and he helped her by lifting his arms up. He then looked questioningly at her novice habit, unsure where to even start. Nona snorted in laughter as she got up from the bed and took it off herself in one motion, leaving her in only her smallclothes. She flushed at his gaping expression and quickly joined him on the bed again, sitting herself firmly in his lap this time.

As her arms explored his smooth abs and his muscular back, his mouth attached itself to her neck, reminding her of that experience of being in Kettle's mind. He wasn't quite as skilled at it as Apple had been, but his kisses and gentle bites sent shivers down her entire body. When he sucked on her collarbone she let out a soft moan.

'Can I touch you?' he asked, and with her nod of consent his hand brushed her right breast as his mouth returned to her neck. Slowly his kisses travelled down her body and soon his mouth was on her left nipple, sucking it into the warm wetness as his hand still caressed her right. She let out a soft moan and arched into his touch, as he gently repositioned her onto his back again.

  


When his hand reached her core she realized she was already soaked, but she probably had been the whole time. There were precious few times in the past few weeks when she didn't wake up aroused and go trough her days remembering that fact at random times.

However as his pants started to come off and she realized it was about to happen, she suddenly felt a bit unsure.

"No", she thought to herself, "I can't back out, not now, not when I practically begged him to do this". She briefly thought of Kettle and how reassuring her presence would be at this moment, but even then she knew that was a bridge she absolutely couldn't cross. So almost subconsciously, she reached out for another familiar presence.

  


'Nona? What is going on, what am I doing here?' she could hear Ara in her head, feel her presence throughout her body. Nona could only moan, as Regol's hand touched an especially sensitive spot.

'Ok look, I'm really sorry to be intruding on this, I'm just going to leave now...' She could feel Ara's guilt and embarrassment at trespassing, along with another darker emotion she couldn't quite name hiding right under the surface.

'No!' She thought 'Please stay. Don't leave me!' She held on tighter to Ara's presence, refusing to let her go, 'please'.

'Nona, are you alright?' she sounded worried now, 'you don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know?', by now she could tell Ara was feeling the sensations too and her pleasure only seemed to add to Nona's.

'No, I want to', Nona replied, 'Ancestor, do I want to. But, I'm kind of nervous and I don't want him to know that... Look, I just don't want to be alone right now'.

'Well in case you haven't noticed, you're definitely not alone', Ara replied dryly.

'Please Ara?' the request came into Ara's mind loaded with more emotion than she had ever anticipated. Nona could feel the blonde reluctantly give in, unable to leave her closest friend when she so obviously needed her.

Drawing strength and bravery from Ara's presence, Nona returned her awareness to the present moment, determined once again.

She noticed Regol had shifted position.

'May I?' he asked, obviously quite aroused himself. Nona nodded and pulled him closer as he started to slip into her.

  


His size was considerable and it stretched her to her limits, for a moment she was worried it wouldn't fit at all, but the next thing she knew he was deeper than anything she had ever felt. 

'Fuck, that hurts' Ara cursed inside her head and Nona silently agreed, feeling very sore and raw around the intruding object. She felt a soft hand on her cheek and opened her eyes, meeting Regol's devoted gaze.

'Are you alright?' he asked, holding himself still to allow her time to adjust.

'I'll be fine', she said, 'just give me a moment'. His mouth met hers and the kiss distracted her from the pain.

Slowly the pain mostly faded and she broke the kiss, 'Ok, go on' she said, and they began moving together.

Her pleasure began to build again, despite the pain, and she realized she was much nearer the edge than she had previously realized.

  


As pleasure slowly overwhelmed her, she again became acutely aware of Ara's presence. Nona didn't try to communicate with her in any way, and it didn't seem like the other girl was interested in that either, but she was there, as much inside her body as Regol was. That knowledge made Nona hotter than she had ever been before.

As her body clung to Regol, her mind embraced Ara, and when she went over that edge she knew her friend was right there with her. Time ceased to exist for a while and when she slowly came back down she realized two things. One; Regol had finished too, and was now rolling off her to pant happily at her side, and two; Ara was gone.

  


'Wow, that was incredible' Regol laughed softly next to her.

She looked at him happily, 'Yes, it really was' she said as he leaned in for another kiss. She broke it after a few minutes.

'I really wish I could stay for round two, but they'll notice I'm gone at the convent if I don't get back soon' she said apologetically, already getting up from the bed.

'That's a shame', he seemed genuinely disappointed as he watched her get dressed again.

'Nona look', he started, 'I know you think I flirt with all the girls, but I do care about you. This wasn't just meaningless sex to me'.

She turned to him and smiled, 'I care about you too' she affirmed 'see you next time I'm in town' she leaned in for another quick kiss and was already on her way to the door.

'And when will that be?' she heard his voice behind her.

'Good night Regol!' Was all she offered in return. In less then a minute she was out in the cold night air, making her way trough the quiet streets of verity, back towards the convent. It was time to face Ara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will mostly be about the conversation between Ara and Nona, which again was super fun to write. I might go over it again and just post it tomorrow, since I do have it written. Also apologies to everyone who wishes this fic to be even more in detail, I know I'm doing a lot of time jumps, but as much as I'm loving the slowburn I also want to get to the good part which is obviously actual Nona/Ara. So I want to catch up with where the books left off to do that, while also filling some gaps along the way.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok next chapter will be more PG and deal mostly with the fallout. I basically have the whole thing planned out and half written, so the rest of the chapters should be out soon. Thank you for reading! Any feedback and especially constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Oh and English is only my second language so I appologize for not yet totally grasping how commas work in it haha.


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